With the Oscars just having wrapped up and March Madness on the horizon, we decided to combine the two best formats found in the month of March to create a new award show. So without further ado, here’s Conan O’Brien!
Just kidding. We have no budget. Here are the awards:
The Julius Peppers Award
For our favorite fun fact about a player this tournament (in honor of NFL Hall of Famer Julius Peppers’s career as a contributing member of the 1999-00 UNC Tar Heels Final Four team)
Brad:
My personal favorite is that BYU star forward Richie Saunders’s great-grandfather invented the tater tot. His great-grandfather, F. Nephi Grigg, wanted to use his leftover potato scraps and eventually became one of the creators of Ore-Ida (look them up, you’ll recognize the logo).
Decades later, his great-grandson, currently sidelined with an injury, is averaging 18 PPG for the Cougars and even signed an NIL deal with Ore-Ida.
By the way, Richie’s nickname is the Tot King.
Emile:
Did you know Carlos Boozer has twins? And they play for Duke? No, really.
But my favorite fact is that Keaton Wagler was not even ranked inside the top 150 nationally as a recruit, and now may be a lottery pick and one of the best players on a top-three seed.
Wagler has exceeded all expectations, and I’m excited to watch him play in the tournament.
The Zion Williamson Award
For the player people will drop everything to watch
Brad:
I wanted to put Yaxel Lendeborg here, but despite the Zion namesake coming from a top-seeded Duke team, it didn’t feel right to pick someone from a top-three seed. Which leads me to Darius Acuff Jr. I really like Acuff, unlike Emile, and I think he’s going to be a solid pro. But that’s not why I have him here. He is just insanely fun to watch. He’ll shoot 30-foot bombs, then throw a no-look lob in transition on the very next possession.
I’ve seen a lot of player comps for him to 2000s guards like Iverson and Steve Francis. I think both of those are a bit off. Honestly, Trae Young feels like the cleanest comparison.
Emile:
Despite some questionable decisions this season that have, at times, bordered on selfishness and drawn criticism, I’m going with Darryn Peterson of Kansas. He has everything needed to become a national star this tournament: the talent, the team, and most importantly, the motivation.
After everything that’s been said about him this season, this sets up perfectly for a redemption run. There may be early overreactions if things don’t start well, but by the end of the tournament, Peterson has the ability to remind everyone why he is in the No. 1 pick conversation.
For the record, I do like Acuff and will be watching Arkansas plenty.
The Doug Edert / Jack Gohlke Award
For the player most likely to become a national sensation before transferring or going pro
Brad:
I don’t even know if Robbie Avila counts because he’s already pretty well known, but if St. Louis wins in round one, I bet he’ll be the most talked-about non-lottery guy for a week.
I’ll say this, though, I’m not really a fan of the bit. “Haha, a white dude with glasses scores 12 PPG” doesn’t really do it for me.
Emile:
This category feels like it was made for Avila, or “Cream Abdul Jabbar” as he’s known, which, typing it out, makes me want to rethink this category entirely.
But I’m staying away from him. I also thought about TJ Power, but decided against it.
I ended up looking for guys with elite three-point percentages on solid volume who play for teams with upset potential. After some digging, I landed on Chase Johnston from High Point, who somehow has a higher three-point percentage than overall field goal percentage this season.
The Inaugural Miami (OH) Award
For the result that will spark the most discourse about the current state of the sport
Brad:
If we’re excluding Miami of Ohio, I think the biggest storyline will be the impact of former Pac-12 teams now playing in the Big Ten. UCLA is somehow the only former Pac-12 team in the tournament, despite USC, Oregon, and Washington all having top-tier recruiting classes and expensive coaching staffs.
Ironically, UCLA might be the most criticized of the group, and Mick Cronin has made it pretty clear he’s not thrilled with the travel demands. I wouldn’t blame him at all for having a meltdown if they lose in round one.
Emile:
Because of the name of the award, I’m giving it to Miami (OH).
No matter what happens (win, loss, blowout, or upset) there is going to be chaos online.
Add in the constant back-and-forth between power conference and mid-major fans, Miami’s growing NIL presence, and just general pettiness, and this is going to spiral fast.
If Miami beats Tennessee on a buzzer beater, the internet might actually melt down.
The Amir “Aura” Khan Award
For the least tournament-related storyline that takes over headline news
Emile:
I’m predicting something completely insane involving NIL or eligibility. Multiple injunctions, judges getting recused, thousands of motions filed, maybe even some level of federal involvement.
Something ridiculous will happen in the middle of the tournament.
Brad:
If Will Wade returns to LSU, I think I’d be more shocked than if I woke up with superpowers.
After getting fired due to an FBI wiretap, he went to McNeese, rebuilt the program, and now might end up back at LSU.
If that happens, it’s a guaranteed 30 for 30.
O/U: Number of Times Tom Izzo Looks As If He Is Ready To Kill His Players
Brad:
2.5 feels like a solid number. One early outburst, one later, and then you just need one random moment to hit it.
Emile:
I’d take the over, especially if Michigan State makes a run. If they get to a Duke matchup, there might be unlimited opportunities for this to cash.
The Pete Maravich Award
For the most overused stat
Emile:
If UMBC advances, I’m tracking how many times the 2017 team gets mentioned. I’d set the number at 175.5 references across pregame and in-game coverage.
Brad:
Power conference 11-seeds winning around 45% of the time is the stat I hear every year and have never once cared about.
Who Will Win the NCAA Tournament?
Brad:
Chalk answer: Duke
Non-chalk answer: Arkansas
Emile:
Chalk answer: Duke
Non-chalk answer: I was going to say Arkansas as well, but now it just looks like I’m copying Brad. So I’ll go with Kansas, and as a deep sleeper, Miami (FL).
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